Stereotypes
We have been discussing stereotypes lately and how and why they came about. Stereotypes are everywhere and I bet that you think or say at least one every day. They aren’t necessarily meant to be mean or to promote hate but they can be hurtful in the way it sways the opinion of a person. For instance the cops and donuts stereotype while not particularly hurtful does make them sound like fat bumbling idiots unable to do their job. It is not particularly mean like some stereotypes out there but is still subtly swaying your mind to believe something. The more vicious stereotypes are meant to promote hate towards people who are different than you. Anytime you find yourself with a preconceived notion of a person take a quick look at why.
Last night while we were at our communities Trunk-or-Treat the girls convinced me to walk through the haunted house with them. The first scene when we walked in was a witch sitting by her fire stirring her cauldron. The kids were puzzled by her, especially Tav who was being invited to stick her hands or feet inside. Tav kept asking her why she would do that and after asking several ways for Tav to get in, the witch finally said she was going to cook and eat her. Tav replied why would she do that, witches don’t eat children. Go Tav! She must have puzzled over that for quite sometime because several hours later she curled up in my lap and had to discuss it because she was really disturbed by the whole thing. 
I found that brought to light some of the feelings I had buried in my busyness this October. I love Halloween. I love the colors and the pageantry and the joy of children and the inner child. I also love the excuse to put up decor I might find too stifling the rest of the year, dark things like my ravens and bats. I also enjoy the excuse to put out things that bring images of magic to my mind. Potion bottles, herb bundles and other stereotypical (there is that word!) witch imagery. I love being able to have all this stuff lying around with no one thinking anything about it. I also feel a little put out with the scary, ugly, eats children, witch stereotypes. What other religion has to put up with a whole holiday celebrating the misconceptions about you? I am not an easily offended person and I also love a bit of fun and revelry and I am sure that plays into my riding the fence on the issue. I also doubt anything will change any time soon but as for me I can do my part by educating my children into realizing that the world is a wonderful and diverse place.
…on Being Domesticated
Being a Domesticated Woman, much like being a first generation zoo tiger, is hard. You have all these instincts and skills that nature and walking through life have gifted u with and lo and behold you never get to use them. You have to learn to make do with less excitement or at least a much more tame version of what exciting used to mean. In this case instead of fun clothes and parties, meeting new friends and just being out and about, it starts with diapers and no sleep and progresses to worrying about how every single decision you make is going to affect this small person for the rest of its life and how you are going to live with that. But that paralyzing fear is a blog entry for another day. So you get day in and day out not that you mind and not that you don’t love your children and are willing to do anything from boredom to death for them. I know I love mine and happily do for them, giving more time and emotion to them than sometimes I should. Your new excitement is their every achievement from latching on and other physical milestones to every single scribble they ever made on a piece of paper and sometimes a wall or two. If you are very, very lucky you will also find a group of women who share your parenting style at least to a degree that you are not constantly thinking “omg what a horrible mother” every time you see them with their kids. I just so happen to be that lucky to have found the women at SETXPlaygroup and Triangle Homeschool. To find other crunchy moms with such an array of fun, adorable, interesting, small people in their care has been a godsend.
Last night was the first of many “Refuge Nights” that I will be hosting in my home and it was freakin fantastic. It was 9 hours of chatting, tv watching (True Blood mmm), blog writing and diet busting relaxation. No kids No husbands no need to entertain me or me to entertain you we just happen to all be in the same house chillin. It is great to have friends like that and such a welcome break. I know I went to bed tired and smiling and woke up again this morning smiling still. I feel like I have so much more to give to my family and like a little bit of that preDomesticated Woman is still there only now she is settled and happy in her new role as Domestic Goddess.
